The Day I Learned Women’s Voices Change Things

When I was a kid, maybe around 11, I got in trouble at summer camp. Well, I got in trouble at summer camp a few times but this particular one was a starting point for me. I got in trouble not for breaking the rules - but for questioning them.

The camp only offered wrestling as an activity for boys. My sister and I thought that was ridiculous, so we and a few other like-minded friends refused all other activities “for girls” and staged a small protest until they opened wrestling to girls, too.

At the time, I didn’t think of it as brave or bold. I was just frustrated and indignant. It wasn’t even something we realized was a thing until we tried to sign up and were told we couldn’t because we were girls. It didn’t make sense to me that girls couldn’t do what boys could - and I said so.

That’s one of earlier memories I have of fighting a system that didn’t make sense but truthfully, I’ve been challenging them for as long as I can remember. The ones that silence women. The ones that tell us to be grateful, quiet, or easy to like. They’ve always felt wrong to me. They make absolutely no sense.

Looking back, that moment was clearly about more than wrestling. It was about fairness, belonging, and having a voice and a choice. And maybe, more than anything, it was about refusing to play along with systems that didn’t feel right.

I know not everyone grew up with the safety or support to speak up when something felt wrong. And I'll say it again and again that your safety comes first.

But that’s exactly why I do what I do now; because every woman deserves to question what doesn’t feel right, without fear of being dismissed, punished, or labeled “difficult.” Every woman and human deserves to question what isn’t fair and right safely.

Healthy Defiance

We’re taught that defiance is bad. That speaking up makes you “too much.” But healthy defiance - the kind rooted in fairness, boundaries, and truth - is essential to living authentically.

It’s the part of you that whispers:

“I’m allowed to ask for more.” “I’m allowed to take up space.” “I’m allowed to expect respect.”

I want those whispers to shout instead. I want you to truly know that you deserve and are allowed all of it.

Every time you say “No” to what drains you or “Yes” to what feels aligned, you’re practicing that same skill I was able to work on back at camp. Not loud, not rebellious - just clear. Just a simple, “this doesn’t work for me.” Just self-honoring.

Try this today:

Think back to the first time you thought “this isn’t fair.” Maybe it was at work, at home, or way back in childhood. What did you learn in that moment about your voice? And what would it look like to rewrite that story now?

Write it down. Awareness is the first act of empowerment.

I’ve learned that speaking up isn’t a personality trait - it’s a practice. And the more we practice it, the stronger and freer we become.

Tell me what you want to rewrite! I want to hear YOUR story.

Remember: You don’t need to start a protest. You just need to decide that your voice matters as much as anyone else’s.

With strength and warmth,

Dr. Zoe Rapoport

Psychologist. Coach. Boundary Queen.